I was eight years old in a small Indiana town when I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (RA). It was at that point, God began to teach me what it was to live a confident life. Confident in God, even when life falls apart. I’ve lived with RA my whole life and endured years of complications, multiple surgeries, and a great deal of time in bed as a kid. We ended up moving so that my parents could get some help for me, and we got closer to the medical experts in rheumatology. It was a blessing in disguise.
Growing up, doctors told me that my arthritis would make it impossible to walk by age 12…and the doctors were right. I walked with braces until my hip gave out completely, and I couldn’t walk at all.
It’s hard to keep confidence in a perfect God when I have to depend on medication to keep my body from breaking down and collapsing with pain.
Is it wrong to get a transfusion to replenish my blood that a chemo drug stole from me? It’s complicated. Is it wrong to have to have surgery for my arthritic hips so that I can walk again? It’s hard to keep confidence in a perfect God when I have to depend on medication to keep my body from breaking down and collapsing with pain.
So, is this an ideal life for a pastor’s kid? Or a pastor? I’ve got a chronic illness that I have to fight against every single day. I am forced to depend on others to help me, I do things at my own pace, I’m not the leader that I want to be, and I am constantly aware of my need for God.
In my life’s journey with chronic illness, I’ve had a lot of lessons I could share on how God brings you closer to Him through a chronic illness, but in this blog, I’d like to share four keys I’ve found that helped me build confidence in God while my life was falling apart.
Faith Over Fear
When my life fell apart, I had to learn how to have faith in God and to let go of fear. Having faith is being confident in the unseen. But how do you live a confident life when you’re terrified?
There are two types of fear: There’s the kind of fear that involves things you’ve experienced in your life and know you can avoid in the future. And then there’s the fear of the unknown, where you’ve never had the experience, and you don’t know what to expect.
My struggle with illness has taught me that I can have faith in God despite a fear of the unknown. That has helped me live a confident life despite the pain. Fear might tell me that my surgery will be too risky and put my life in danger.
But I have faith in God. He has my best interest at heart. He’s been with me through every surgery that I’ve ever had. I trust my life with God. He is a good Father and has my best interest at heart. He’s been with me through all of my surgeries and procedures. I trust my life with God. Fear is debilitating.
Faithfulness of God
The most important thing in life is to know that you are safe and secure. You never know if God will call you home or if you are living by grace, even on a day when it’s hard to know that you are loved. God calls us to be faithful servants, to give our all to Him, and then let go of the results and wait. Waiting on God is a prayer of faith.
This can be scary. If you don’t trust the God of the universe, it will feel even scarier than it already does. But if you know that you are safe and secure in His hands, that is faithfulness. And when you know that God is with you, no matter what, and trusts in Him, that’s faith. You can have faith, even if your life is falling apart.
I have to believe that God is faithful to me and wants the best for me. I can have faith in God, despite my illness, because I know He is faithful. It’s a great feeling to know that you are safe and secure in His hands. God calls us to be faithful servants, and to give our all to Him, and then let go of the results and wait. Waiting on God is a prayer of faith.
Daily Habits of a Confident Life
A great habit that I recommend is to create a morning devotional routine that helps you stay connected with God. Having a devotional time, whether it’s 10 minutes or an hour, will help you stay in tune with God throughout your day.
For me, this devotional time is where I pray and read scripture. I also know that my physical health is not what defines me, so I keep my mind, body, and heart centered around God’s love.
Get Onboard With His Cause
I feel that it’s important to invest in your passions. This will help you live a confident life, even if your life is falling apart. God has a passion for you and your life, and I’ve learned that I can’t continue to be a part of this world if I am not doing something for Him. I don’t know how to do this, but I do know it’s what I want to do. It’s what I love to do.
The more you focus on what’s important to you, the more confident you’ll be. I believe that God has a plan for this world, but it’s up to us to help Him. He wants us here on Earth as much as we want Him. It’s hard to be confident when your life is falling apart, but it’s possible.
Conclusion
When you are in the middle of a life that is falling apart, it is so easy to think that God is not working in your life. To understand how to build confidence in God when life falls apart, we have to remember that when we are in the middle of a life that is falling apart, we are in a time of trial.
If you are in that time, I encourage you to see your life falling apart as a time that God is shaping you into who you are going to be in His kingdom. I am so glad I have people to walk this journey with me. In all of my darkest times, I can see God at work, bringing me closer to Him. His love is abundant and His mercies are new every morning.
I have seen his faithfulness when I have cried out to him in times of trouble, and he has been there right away to be with me as I walk through this crazy life. I can’t wait to see what the next 49 years will hold for my life.